Can there be any truer love on earth?
Okay, I’ll get the elephant out of the room. There are bad moms out there. I know one gal who has a tattoo in Chinese that conveys “motherless”. She loathed her mom and vowed never to be a mom. There are inadequate moms who are missing out. But, let’s not talk about those moms today.
Let’s talk about moms who show up.
The relationship with your mom is exclusive. Even if you have siblings. God created your mom to be your safe place to grow for 9 months. The personal bond formed between two heartbeats is indescribable. You always seek your mom when you have exciting or heartbreaking news to share. Your mom is your protected place.
But what does it mean to be a mom? How can your mom have that much meaning to you? You love your dad, and the bond is real. And yet it doesn’t compare to the connection you have with your mom. The closeness of your relationship doesn’t matter. A child yearns for their mom (at any age.)
A mom feels her baby growing for 9 months, and her emotions spin uncontrollably. Her thoughts are filled with the hopes and dreams not only for her child but for her as mom. Can she do this? Can she give this child everything they will need? She doesn’t even know the levels of emotions she is about to experience.
I have yet to hear a mom say her child wasn’t the best thing to happen to her. Motherhood is unsurpassed. But it is also wearying. It doesn’t matter the age one has a baby; she still has her own identity. The stresses alone in this world make that difficult without the added pressures of her heart walking around. But, that piece of heart is her world. How easy and acceptable it is to lose her identity when she becomes mom.
A child starts their journey in this world guided by mom’s love. They are the center of the universe in most cases. The world is their oyster. A child doesn’t see mom as a person. A child sees mom as their person. They feel they are in control. Gaining praise with every new accomplishment as moms focus is proudly on them.
As they age, moms start to say no – and children do not like this! Where did this come from? Why are they not in control anymore? They begin to see more than mom’s praises in this world. Friends, hobbies, sports, teachers, and their own individuality. These provide the control they thought they had lost.
A mom sees her deep connection drifting away. It is bittersweet. She knows she must allow her child to grow, experience, and learn on their own. She can’t always be there to scoop her baby up and make the world right. Those days are cherished. Now, she watches as her child matures.
The title mom comes with unchartered territory. No matter how much research you do or how much advice you take, being a mom is a unique experience. Each mother is unique to her personality and each child unique to theirs. A mom will always long for the cuddles of her child, even as they become a parent themselves. A mom will always feel they could have done better. They only hope their children understand the level of their true love for them. Responsibilities are there, life happens, moms must continue to grow and develop along side their child. It isn’t the child that makes motherhood wearying. It’s life that advances as the desire for it to slow is denied.
It doesn’t matter if you were a fairytale mom or a complete disaster. Today is your day to celebrate putting your identity on hold for another person. Recognize the hard work that was entrusted to you. And appreciate the mom you were. As a mom, I speak for all of us, we are doing the best we can with what we have. And, that will get us through!
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Exceptional Mom’s out there!
On a personal note: Happy Mother’s Day to my mom. The path was rocky at times and it caused some tumbling. But, with all things that involve love, and enough tumbling, the rocky path became a smooth pebble stone pathway. Calming to walk on. Gentle enough to go without shoes. I love you, Mom. You have been a warrior and continue to be an example of perseverance, love, and devotion to God.
Love you, Mom. My wedding day, 2003. The flowers hadn’t shown up yet, so we “borrowed” some from the venue. My mom made my dress. A true testament of love.